New Years Resolutions

I've done a lot of research on New Years Resolutions recently (namely, I've been watching a lot of TV today and noting all of those "resolutions" advertisements) and have decided that I need to focus my energies on one major resolution. This way, I'm more likely to stick to it over the course of the year. So, I've decided that my 2003 resolution will be (drumroll, please):

I'm going to start smoking in 2003.

I think that if I really focus on this, it is an attainable goal. Changing habits is hard, so I know that these first few weeks will be the hardest, but knowing that is half the battle. I just need to remember the reasons that I want to pick up smoking, and if I keep that in my hip pocket (next to the cigarettes), written down on an index card, perhaps, it will help me through those tough times when I think that I really don't want that cigarette. Those reasons are as follows:

1. Smoking is compatible with my previously established habits of drinking coffee and alcohol
2. It's compatible with my weight loss goals (smoking helps the slimming process)
3. I was planning on running less this year than last; this will help me stick to that plan
4. Smoking is a great way to meet people
5. Smoking is cool, and it will help me to look cool
6. Through the high Washington State sin taxes, I will be contributing to our state funds for health and human resource projects
7. Tobacco is the mainstay of both Virginia (my home state) and North Carolina's (where I went to college) economies. (Wow, this is a very patriotic habit!)
8. Smoking will give me something to do with my hands
9. I won't be bothered by smokey bars, in fact, I will particularly enjoy those bars all the more for the smoke
10. I won't notice or mind my smoke smelling clothes or hair after spending time in aforementioned bars

I think I've got a winner this year. Okay, time for a puff.